May I Have This Dance? Dancing in The Victorian ERA
by Kimberly Keagan
September 8, 2026
Every one of my Hearts on Display novels has a scene where the hero and heroine dance together. I didn't plan it that way, but there's something very romantic about a ballroom dance. For a Victorian couple, it was an excellent opportunity to spend several uninterrupted minutes together. Under the watchful eyes of chaperones, of course.
Dancing was an essential part of fashionable social life. Balls could be elaborate affairs, with beautifully decorated rooms, live orchestras, supper served late in the evening, and dancing that continued well past midnight.
September 8, 2026
Every one of my Hearts on Display novels has a scene where the hero and heroine dance together. I didn't plan it that way, but there's something very romantic about a ballroom dance. For a Victorian couple, it was an excellent opportunity to spend several uninterrupted minutes together. Under the watchful eyes of chaperones, of course.
Dancing was an essential part of fashionable social life. Balls could be elaborate affairs, with beautifully decorated rooms, live orchestras, supper served late in the evening, and dancing that continued well past midnight.
The Viennese Waltz (Vladimir Pervunensky,2007) https://01varvara.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/vladimir-pervunensky-the-viennese-waltz-2007/
By the 1890s, the waltz was firmly established as one of the most popular ballroom dances. Earlier generations had considered it rather scandalous. Unlike older dances, in which partners kept considerably more distance between them, the waltz placed a gentleman’s hand at a lady’s waist and allowed the couple to move around the ballroom together.
Imagine the possibilities for a romance writer!
Late-nineteenth-century waltzes ranged from energetic to more graceful and measured, making the dance an ideal setting for a private conversation—or a moment when two people suddenly realize they are standing much closer than usual.
Imagine the possibilities for a romance writer!
Late-nineteenth-century waltzes ranged from energetic to more graceful and measured, making the dance an ideal setting for a private conversation—or a moment when two people suddenly realize they are standing much closer than usual.
The opening position of the quadrille, with four couples forming a square.
From William De Garmo, The Dance of Society, 1875, New York.
https://www.concertinajournal.org/House_Dance_Text/ch_4.htm
From William De Garmo, The Dance of Society, 1875, New York.
https://www.concertinajournal.org/House_Dance_Text/ch_4.htm
The quadrille was quite different. Rather than sweeping around the ballroom as a couple, four couples performed a sequence of figures together. It required attention, timing, and knowledge of the steps. It was certainly sociable, but it didn’t offer quite the same intimacy as a waltz.
The lively polka had swept into fashionable European ballrooms earlier in the Victorian period and remained part of the dancing repertoire. Fast and cheerful, it was considerably better suited to laughter and exuberance than whispered declarations of love.
And dancing had its own etiquette. In a November 28, 1896, article in the Airdrie & Coatbridge Advertiser, a Scottish newspaper, the writer laid out the rules:
ETIQUETTE OF DANCES.
On arriving, shake hands with your host and hostess, after removing your wraps. Unless you have the strongest reasons, you cannot refuse an introduction offered by your host. Do not shake hands on being introduced, unless there is some special reason for friendliness. The old fashioned method of asking for a dance—“May I have the pleasure of a dance?”—is now seldom used. “Will you give me a dance?” being more usual. “With pleasure; I shall be delighted,” or some pleasant speech of that sort, is the best answer. (NOTE FROM KIM: I DIDN"T KNOW THIS, DID YOU? I'll HAVE TO CHANGE MY CURRENT WIP DANCE SCENE! 😅)
Do not hand your programme to the man for him to put his initials on it. Write his name down yourself on your own card. He will write yours on his. Do not remove your glove at supper, or when you are partaking of refreshments. The hostess usually stands inside the doorway of the dancing room, and greets her guests. A daughter of the house is sometimes in the tea-room during the first hour.
Soon after each dance has commenced the host and hostess should glance round the room to see that all their guests are dancing; and introductions should be made between those ladies and gentlemen who are sitting-out.
There should be no formal going in to supper at “a little dance.” The host and hostess, or sons of the house, should ask their guests now and then if they have had some refreshment.
At the hour when the carriages are ordered the guests should leave. And at “a little dance” it is usual to seek out the hostess and shake hands with her, expressing some pleasure in a natural way at the evening spent. The old formal method of thanking the entertainers in an elaborate speech has now, happily, died out.
A call should be made or card left with the hostess within a week of the day when the dance took place.
That's a lot of rules, but worth the effort!
ETIQUETTE OF DANCES.
On arriving, shake hands with your host and hostess, after removing your wraps. Unless you have the strongest reasons, you cannot refuse an introduction offered by your host. Do not shake hands on being introduced, unless there is some special reason for friendliness. The old fashioned method of asking for a dance—“May I have the pleasure of a dance?”—is now seldom used. “Will you give me a dance?” being more usual. “With pleasure; I shall be delighted,” or some pleasant speech of that sort, is the best answer. (NOTE FROM KIM: I DIDN"T KNOW THIS, DID YOU? I'll HAVE TO CHANGE MY CURRENT WIP DANCE SCENE! 😅)
Do not hand your programme to the man for him to put his initials on it. Write his name down yourself on your own card. He will write yours on his. Do not remove your glove at supper, or when you are partaking of refreshments. The hostess usually stands inside the doorway of the dancing room, and greets her guests. A daughter of the house is sometimes in the tea-room during the first hour.
Soon after each dance has commenced the host and hostess should glance round the room to see that all their guests are dancing; and introductions should be made between those ladies and gentlemen who are sitting-out.
There should be no formal going in to supper at “a little dance.” The host and hostess, or sons of the house, should ask their guests now and then if they have had some refreshment.
At the hour when the carriages are ordered the guests should leave. And at “a little dance” it is usual to seek out the hostess and shake hands with her, expressing some pleasure in a natural way at the evening spent. The old formal method of thanking the entertainers in an elaborate speech has now, happily, died out.
A call should be made or card left with the hostess within a week of the day when the dance took place.
That's a lot of rules, but worth the effort!